Writting From a Survivor

November 1, 2016


Love, hate, anger, joy, peace, 
there is not enough room inside the heart to hold all of it.
A need to cleanse, to purge the soul,
to make a choice that is not obvious.
A need to look deeper inside, to the very core of the woman inside.
..Yearning for loving and softness,
yet only finding hate and hardness. 
Yearning for generosity and kindness, 
yet only finding selfishness and cruelty.

For too long the woman inside has been hidden behind closed doors and silent tears, 
She longed to be released, to rejoice in freedom, but fear held her back. 
For too long the woman inside has been a prisoner to cruelty and selfishness, 
but she longs to give herself to the loving softer side. 
Darkness holds the key to the past but light the key to the future.

Who is the woman inside? 
Beyond darkness, beyond doubt, beyond condemnation
there is light, there is hope.

Love conquers hate, joy 
and peace conquers anger, 
courage conquers all.

Stepping one step, then two steps 
the woman inside is revealed, 
soft, yet hard, 
kind, yet selfish.
Three steps then four steps the woman inside is revealed, 
strong, yet weak, 
whole yet broken.
Five steps then six steps, 
unreachable, yet longed for, 
slowly the woman inside is revealed.

There is hope.

Hope found in darkness and fear, 
hope found in loneliness and silence,
hope found in uncertainty and caution.

The woman inside, 
who is she?
Where is she going? 
Will she ever heal? 
The questions lead the way, 
five steps, six steps,
fearful she ventures forth, 
finding gentleness and kindness to light the way. 
Seven steps, eight steps, 
hope is in the future, 
in the unknown, in what was forbidden.

Alone she steps forth, 
alone she faces the fear, 
nine steps freedom is nearer, ten steps, freedom is here. 
The woman inside alone, 
strong, yet weak, 
fearful yet brave, 
broken yet whole
she steps into being. 
Never to look back, never to coward, never to be ruled…
freedom is here.

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